Jealousy is a hell of a thing. It has permanent resting bitch-face, doesn’t care how close you are to someone or not, and can consume if not kept in check.
Through the years I’ve been met with this green monster from the Dark Swamp of Self-Destruction and have been fortunate enough that it’s passed without plotting or take-downs involved. On the other hand, I’ve experienced its reach in ways that make me shudder to think about it–the pure distaste someone could have for me because of jealousy.
I can hear you now–you sound like I used to–why the hell would anyone be jealous of you Jackie? The truth is for a long time I couldn’t understand it, until I realised that there will always be someone out there harbouring these feelings towards us, whether we note it or not.
For me it hit closest to home from those I thought were friends, who behind my back whether actively or in “green-brain” have done what they could to eclipse achievements, take away opportunities, and even crush them where possible. That kind of thing hurts like a mother-trucker, it digs into your bones and the feeling is pretty awful.
Realise something though–it doesn’t matter what anyone tries, keep at it. It doesn’t matter if they hate, foil, or plot–keep going. I’m a stuck record on this one and its because its true–Focus on You. If we keep our focus in the right lane, everything else falls away.