I used to apologise a lot, still do sometimes. I’d constantly be saying sorry, or throwing out disclaimers before I said something I thought would offend and even for simple things, like apologising when someone bumped into me in the supermarket!
Spending lots of time saying sorry when we don’t need to is more stressful than it may appear. When we’re like this, it puts us on high alert, we’re always expecting to be in the wrong and by extension, we make ourselves smaller than everyone else.
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m a stout believer in apologies where they are due, however, when we do it for no other reason than thinking we should be sorry for everything, that’s when we need to consider that there might be something much deeper going on.
This post came about because of last week’s Monday Insights, where I shared that I was still awaiting my ISP provider sorting the internet connection and apologised to readers for any possible missed posts. While that one was warranted, it made me think about how many times in my life I’ve thrown them out willy nilly, to the point where I didn’t even think about it before doing it anymore. It’s when I took stock of this and considered why I did it, that I realised that yes, I did think that somehow others deserved better treatment than I did. Basically, I was being apologetic for my existence.
Say sorry when it matters, whether the situation is small or big, it’s simple courtesy to apologise. However, we can’t make it a way to hide from being our whole selves. We can’t allow this behaviour to let us shrink into the shadows, as we hang onto the false belief that we deserve less than everyone else.
Do you apologise too little, or too much? Talk to me in the comments below :).
Monday Insights are honest accounts of things I experience in my life, all rolled into what I hope are inspirational messages. Join me each Monday for more :).