Jackie Reveals: Long Distance Relationships

longdistance1I’ve had two of them. Well two that were serious enough to mention. One of them was an emotional roller coaster and the other saw me travel nearly halfway around the world to be with him. How did these relationships begin? It was pretty embarrassing to admit this in the beginning, but the first was through a dating site and the other, well, we were internet pen pals who became something more. Let’s start with dating site guy (DSG).

DSG was my first serious relationship after my long-term abusive one. He was a breath of fresh air, very different from my ex, sweet, caring and best of all — miles away. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I wasn’t ready for a hands-on relationship again yet. Him being far away, though I sometimes felt as if my heart longdistance2was breaking because he was, actually turned out to be a good thing. I didn’t have to worry about if he could hit me or not and that, after 4 years of worrying, was a beautiful thing. For six months it was bliss, he even came to Barbados to visit me and we had a blast — when we weren’t fighting that is. You see, I hadn’t remotely dealt with the past issues yet and they easily played into this new relationship. I used to push him, then push harder, just to see his reaction. I needed to see if he could be pushed over the edge and in so doing, figure out if deep down he really was like my ex, who’d also seemed so nice in the beginning. To cut a long story – and one I will probably tell in the future short – he went back to his country, we tried for another six months, but he’d become very depressed over some issues in his life and not physically being there, took it’s toll. We broke up.

Enter the internet pen pal (IPP). He was quite possibly the sweetest guy I’d ever known and wanted to date. We hit it off immediately and talked about all kinds of things. As I’ve mentioned somewhere in these reveals before, I’m a pretty open person, so tend not to hide who I am from others. I’m not sure if that’s what got him opening up easily as well, because I could tell he wasn’t that kind of person. IPP wasn’t the kind to tell a ‘stranger’ all about his life and ambitions, but with me, I guess something was different. I fell in love and made plans to travel to his country. longdistance3Sidenote: I hadn’t been much of a romantic before, so it’s still ironic to me that after the worst relationship ever, I seemed to become one. Anyway, when I arrived in IPP’s hometown I couldn’t stop grinning and neither could he. Or, maybe it was so cold our faces were stuck like that, who knows? Either way, those days with him, getting soaked in the rain, walking and sitting in parks just because, exploring, were beautiful. I returned home and began to seriously consider moving there. We talked about it at length, then talked about it some more. Once again, so this post doesn’t go on forever, let me just say that in the end the distance, added to both of us basically living on two timezones, got to the relationship and IPP is no more.

I don’t regret DSG or IPP. They were both great guys in their own ways and helped me to move past a difficult time. Being with them showed me that my ability to love a man deeply hadn’t been tarnished because of one very bad egg.

longdistance4

What I learnt:

1) I wouldn’t have a long distance relationship again, unless I’d physically met the person and we’d decided that we wouldn’t be apart for more than a very short period of time.

2) Sometimes what you need isn’t always what you expect.

 

Have long-distance dating stories of your own? Share in the comments below :). Also, remember that all new reveals will only be available on my website, which will be unveiled very soon. Until then, continue to enjoy my real stories by searching using the keywords Jackie Reveals.

7 thoughts on “Jackie Reveals: Long Distance Relationships

  1. I was in a long-distance relationship for a year. I met him on Gaia and he we met personally within four months. I was in high school and had kept him from my parents until that moment. They weren’t happy that I lied, but if I had told them, I figured he’d never have a chance to come over. So he periodically visited from Florida throughout our relationship before his mom kicked him out and I knew I needed to bring him over. This was two years into our relationship. Now we’re engaged and going on to six years.

  2. I dated long-distance for over a year. We talked every single day after things heated up. I met him in his home country, he was working the front desk of the hotel I checked into for holiday. I ran into him the next day at the jazz festival and he hung out with my friend and I. At first we were just friends, the next time we saw each other was a couple of months later after many phone talks. Then it became some different.

    Then more seperations. More phone talks. Then we discovered we had some other challenges. Our age differences. Our religious differences. His family. Some of our cultural differences.

    Then he asked me to marry him. I said no (twice). So he asked my sons and my father. Finally I said yes.

    This July we will be married 14 years.

    1. If I wasn’t so groggy this morning I’d probably be a bit misty eyed lol. I’m glad you mentioned cultural differences – these kinds of relationships definitely make you way more tolerant of others and their lifestyles (not saying I wasn’t tolerant before), but when a culture is COMPLETELY different, you definitely have to adjust.

      I wish you and your husband many more happy years together :).

  3. I was in one very serious partially long-distance relationship…did I ever tell you? It’s kind of a long story lol. We met in the early days of Internet on a website called Firefly. We were IPP’s, we’d hang out in the chat rooms there for hours…but he lived across the Atlantic. One day he suddenly went permanently offline…months passed, I went away on student exchange and was also permanently offline for many months (internet had not reached Spain yet lol…that’s how old I am). When I returned, and decided to check out Firefly again, he was back. We reunited virtually…a few months later he came to visit (stayed a month instead of the intended week!), then the next year he moved to Canada for a year. Then we did a year of long distance before I moved to Holland for two years for Uni and to be with him (with us breaking up towards the end of that two years). Long distance is TOUGH…and I look back and think “How did I do it?!” But young love, makes people do crazy things. 🙂

    1. What a great story and NO you never told me lol (I guess it never came up) ^_^. Holland and you make even more sense to me now :). Also, it’s still nice that you guys were able to rekindle the flame and keep it burning for so long afterwards. No regrets :).

      1. yeah, at the time it was a romance story for the ages lol and remains a life-changing one. But for some reason I always prefer to say “I moved to Holland for school” rather than “I moved to Holland for a man” lol 😉

Comments are closed.